Amazing Grace - The Blessings Of God Restored
Mark John Ostrum - 2004-09-26 21:45:00
The life I am living since Sunday, August 15 has been the most incredible experience of my life, and it can only get more incredible! A few weeks ago my unemployment insurance ran out. At that time I stopped praying for God to restore me to where I was. I had up to that point been asking God for things to increase my comfort. But it seemed he had turned a deaf ear to me. So I began changing my prayer, and simply asked God to give me the ability to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and to live in obedience to his commands and his will for me. For I knew that my prayers were futile because I was asking for things for my own comfort. Several weeks passed with my persistence in that prayer (see James 4).
Finally on Sunday, August 15, like a light switch being turned on, and after stepping out in faith to perform some small task in the work of the ministry the Lord has called me into, the peace of God that surpasses all understanding flowed into me. His blessings were undeniable. I was able to say to him, “Lord Jesus, I renounce the ways of the world and seek to serve you only.” Prior to that, even on that Sunday morning, when I went to church I was not able to sing the praise and to worship him.
I also discovered not only God’s peace welling up and overflowing within me, but I was also delivered from all anger, bitterness, hatred and everything else that I had been harboring for most of my life. In addition, I suddenly became empowered to boldly stand up against any attempts to discourage me in any way, shape, or form. I simply did not have to accept anything which, before this point, would have discouraged me, for now I knew God’s blessings were on me, and I was not going to let go of them or have them snatched away.
That evening, I was able to sing praise and worship him in a very real way, a way I never knew I was able to, as I took my walk in the evening, which had by then become my daily conversation with Him. The next day, during the day, I took another step in faith for my ministry work. That evening I received a phone call from a company in San Diego, from the COO. He was suddenly very hot on me, and asked if he could send my resume to the CTO, for a more technical interview. I agreed, and the next morning, Tuesday, the CTO called me. We talked briefly and he invited me down for an interview. The interview was on Friday morning, and I thought it went well.
During the interview, the CTO asked me when I would be able to start, and if I could relocate to San Diego. I said yes, but explained to him that I did not have a car, and I would need to have the funds for renting a U-Haul in advance so I could execute the move. It was necessary to be honest and let him know that I was down to my last about $200, and had no further income. He asked me to do the research necessary for moving expenses, which after the interview, I complied with according to his request. I then submitted to him a budget of what I would need to facilitate the move.
I thought over the weekend about the impossible predicament that I was suddenly thrust into. Here I was sitting in Temple City, CA, with no money to pay rent for September 1. I had a job interview just finished that went exceedingly well. This company was only the 11th to call me since I became unemployed 22 months ago, and after 1000 or more resume submissions. Prior to that call, only three of the first ten turned into technical phone interviews, and only one of those had turned into an in person interview with no results.
But the predicament was this: No rent to pay for September 1 where I lived. Having checked with an apartment complex close enough to the office to ride my bike, I learned that because I had been evicted twice in 2003 they would not permit me to move into their complex. An exception to their policy might have been provided for, so long as I were able to pay 2 months rent as additional deposit, and obtain a co-signer on the lease.
Time was short, and I could not go to San Diego to find other arrangements. So here I was, faced with homelessness again, the one thing that I had in the past been most afraid of, no matter what I did should an offer be tendered. I could turn down the offer and remain in Temple City, but not pay rent and get evicted, or I could accept the offer I knew would be coming, and face homelessness because of my credit history these past few years. Seems impossible, doesn’t it?
Instead of becoming psychotic and throwing tantrums like I did in May 2003 when I became homeless, or becoming frantic and begging new friends for the money I needed to move when facing eviction in December 2003, I instead was suddenly not at all concerned. Having experienced the peace of God that Sunday, and continuing to have his blessings coming down on me so that I simply am unable to keep them all, I simply realized that I now knew what it meant to trust God to bring about all good things for me. Through my last two years, he finally gave me the ability to trust Him totally.
Understand, please, that even as his blessings were restored on me, I did not change my prayer back to “give me, give me.” Instead I simply prayed, if it is your will let it go well. But no matter what, Lord, I trust you, and I am not afraid to be homeless, because I know you are my Just In Time God, who provides all my basic needs at the last minute. You’ve shown that to me in December, and although I don’t recognize it, you’ve likely shown it to me in the past. Now I think about this, he was Just In Time when Julie divorced me too.
Today, I received the call from the company. They made me an offer and said I could live in the corporate apartment at no expense for three months, sharing it with another worker. I asked if I could bring my cat, and he said he’d check. Shortly after that, he called back and said everything was arranged. And the company will also pay for the U-Haul to move.
The company is new, a startup. I am supremely confident that with me on the team, with the way God has been blessing me so profoundly abundantly this past week that the company will become incredibly successful. It seems sort of like how Pharaoh was blessed by taking Joseph and putting him in charge. In Genesis the story of Joseph is about how Joseph was blessed by God, and anyone who had him as a slave after his brothers sold him prospered wildly.
I wanted to share this with you because God’s blessings have been so great on me these past eight days, I simply cannot contain them. I am compelled to share what the fruits of true faithfulness are, and what proper prayer can do. Instead of praying as I had in the past for my personal comfort, I changed my prayer life to seek his gift of the ability to pray simply for the advancement of his kingdom and to live in obedience.
As I prepared for the interview the days before Friday, many discouragements and persecutions came my way, but I only stood up to them while at the same time praised the Lord and rejoiced that he allowed me to face the disappointments and persecutions for his glory. I did not let anything rattle me through the power given to me by the Holy Spirit, and God has indeed blessed me for it.
He has given me an entirely new life in him without a single ounce of the old baggage. To be delivered from bitterness, anger, hatred, explosive temper, all those things that cause me problems in the past, God now has me walking in complete and utter obedience to him; a GIFT from him, not anything I was able to do on my own. He also has given me the power through the Holy Spirit to overcome any obstacle and boldly rebuke any attacks. I humbly rejoice in the new life he has given me, and the ability to truly walk in obedience. It is in obedience to his will that I write this letter so that by it, you may also experience the blessings of God in a real, but unimaginable way. His power is awesome; his mercy endless.
His power is so awesome I am not only able to walk in obedience, and praise and worship him, but I am also able to thank and praise him for allowing me to go through the sufferings I had to go through in the past several years (Romans 5). And I now also know that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ (Romans 8).
May God’s blessings be on you, and may his peace that surpasses all understanding be given to all who read this letter.
Update September 26, 2004
It is still amazing how the Lord continues to bless me. In the past, whenever I believed myself to be under his blessings, I was really only fooling myself. I had been in the past like the seed that fell on the rock, having no root, and when the troubles of the world came against me, I would rebel against both God and man.
He has taught me the reality of walking in obedience to him, and because of my past experiences, I am able to look back with fear and trembling in my heart. For I now know on a spiritual level what fear of the Lord is, and with the trembling of fear in my heart that I may someday revert back to my sinful life, I keep in mind the scripture,
Hebrews 6 4It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, 6if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.
7Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. 8But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned.
Now that I have been properly disciplined by the Lord, I am able to rejoice. I also have learned to love to work, and have acquired a work ethic I had once thought insane. Praise be to the Lord for showing me how to work even in a secular position and to view it as serving him with joy and gladness.